What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

How are max different from medical and minimum security prisons?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Why is Canada letting too many Indians in Canada?

HELLO

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

After a few moments he returns.

Why am I tired all the time?

{RING} {RING}

Yes sir it is.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

What's your favourite porn video to jerk off to?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Sure no problem officer.

CFPB enforcement lead resigns, slams ‘attack’ on core mission in departure email - CNN

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.